Teabagging may not garner as much press as deep-throating, rimming, or 69-ing. But, for people with testicles, this underrated oral sex variation can be hotter than a boiling kettle—and not to mention, extremely intimate.
What is teabagging, exactly? It’s an oral sex act that involves someone dipping their scrotum in and out of their partner’s mouth, says psychotherapist Joy Berkheimer, PhD, LMFT, an expert at the sexual wellness award platform SXWA. The ball-sucking move gets its name because it visually invokes the act of steeping a tea bag in hot water, she explains. (A quick note on terminology: The testicles are reproductive organs responsible for producing sperm, while the scrotum is a protective pouch of thick skin that contains and helps thermo-regulate the testicles—though these terms are used interchangeably. This package is colloquially known as the balls or ballsack.)
The pleasure derived from teabagging can be physical, mental, and emotional. As anyone who has ever been sack-tapped or accidentally kneed their lover in the crotch knows, “the scrotum is very nerve-dense,” says AASECT-certified sex therapist Rufus Spann, PhD, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and founder of Libido Health. This sensitivity makes them hyper-sensitive to pain, but also pleasure. “Individuals with testicles can derive a lot of pleasure from any kind of sex involving this area, including oral sex,” he says.
The giver, meanwhile, gets to enjoy the act of pleasing their partner in new and intense ways. “Many people find it arousing to worship their partner’s genitals, concentrating on producing their joy while protecting them from pain,” says Berkheimer. Plus, many givers report that the texture and taste of testicles is sexually stimulating, adds Spann.
Teabagging is a fun way to spice up your sex life, no matter your interests. But is can be especially enjoyable for those who like to dip a toe (er, testicles) into the world of BDSM and power play, according to Holly Richmond, PhD, a somatic psychotherapist and AASECT-certified sex therapist, and associate director at Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. “Whereas most oral sex acts focus on how the giver moves, during teabagging, the receiver is the more active partner,” she says. This role reversal can enable the oral sex receiver to take on a more dominant role while letting the giver become more submissive. In pre-negotiated contexts, “the more submissive partner can find it hot to be objectified or ‘used’ in this type of way,” adds Richmond.
This oral sex act can also be visually stimulating for all involved. The person with the testicles gets to stand above their partner and enjoy the sights of their body and eager mouth below them. Meanwhile, the partner lying down gets a front-row seat to their partner’s genitals inching closer and further away from their face. (Hot!)
Is it possible to try tea-bagging if my partner has a vulva?
Historically, the term teabagging was used specifically for testicle-dunking. “But in the name of equality and sex positivity, the definition has been expanded,” Richmond says. Now, it can also refer to someone with a vagina “[dipping] their vulva towards and away from their partner’s mouth while in a standing position,” she explains. (This variation is more commonly known as face-sitting or Queening.) “A vulva owner can also enjoy the act of teabagging their partner by strapping on a dildo that’s complete with testicles,” says Berkheimer, such as the Colours Pleasure Dildo or Lovers Loyal.
Wondering how to go from reading about teabagging to testing it out IRL? Ahead, here’s your step-by-step guide to scrotum sucking, complete with tips from certified sex therapists about how to talk about it and try it with your partner(s).
1. Start with consent.
The best time to talk about trying a new sex act with a partner is before you’re bare-naked and boning—and that stands for teabagging, too. “It is crucial to have discussions before this kind of play occurs to keep the vibe consensual,” says Richmond.
The way you bring up teabagging will vary based on your communication style, as well as your desire to be the giver, receiver, or both. Still, here are some ways to approach the topic with your partner:
- Have you ever had your balls sucked before? I read an article about teabagging, and I’d love to try it with you.
- I know that I don’t usually pay much attention to your balls when I go down on you. Is that something you might like?
- Would you ever be open to trying teabagging sometime? I think it’d be hot to look down at your body while I’m in your mouth.
2. Get detailed about the dunking.
Mutually agreeing to try teabagging is not enough—you also want to get specific about technique and timing, Richmond says. (Like, really specific.)
Some people with testicles enjoy nothing more than a light licking, while others enjoy the sensation of teeth, Richmond says. Meanwhile, some givers may be eager to teabag their partner but have no interest in combining it with other activities, like breath play or deep throating. To get into the nitty-gritty, the receiver should share their likes and dislikes surrounding ball play, she says, while the giver should address their comfort level surrounding throat depth and duration before anyone’s penis or dildo comes out.
Some questions Richmond suggests asking include:
- How rough can the receiver be with the giver’s mouth?
- How much pressure should the giver use?
- Will the act be performed until one or both partners climax?
- Will the ball stimulation be layered with any other type of stimulation?
- Will any toys be used?
3. Select a safety signal.
Have you ever tried to talk while sucking a jaw-breaker or some other hard candy? If so, you probably have a good sense of how tough it can be to speak when your mouth is preoccupied by, well, balls. Because it may not be possible for the giver to verbally express a need to pause, switch positions, or stop altogether, Richmond suggests picking a non-verbal safety signal, which is simply “a hand gesture that implies it’s time to stop or pause.” You could decide, for example, that three consecutive thigh taps or a butt pinch means it’s time for a breather.
4. Chat STI status and barriers.
PSA: Penetrative sex isn’t the only type of sex that can lead to sexually transmitted infection (STI) transmission. Certain infections, such as herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and HPV, can all be spread through saliva and the mucous membranes in the mouth, per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “This means that an STI can get passed from the mouth to the testicles, or from the testicles to the mouth, during teabagging,” says Berkheimer.
With that in mind, it’s best to share your current STI status with someone before trying teabagging—or any other form of oral sex, says Berkheimer. (Current STI status usually refers to your most recent tests, what you were tested for, what your sexual activity has been since your last test, what protections you used, and so on.) If someone doesn’t know their current STI status but oral sex is definitely on the menu, Spann suggests using a barrier to reduce the risk of transmission. Currently, there is no such thing as a condom for the balls, but holding a dental dam over your mouth while the receiver lowers their testicles offers some degree of protection, he says.
5. Assume position.
While regular ‘ole ball licking and sucking can be performed from almost any oral sex position, the standard teabagging position has the giver lie on their back while the receiver straddles their face with a knee beside each ear. From here, the top partner can use their glutes and quads to shift their scrotum up and down, in and out of the bottom partner’s mouth. Placing a sex pillow like the Dame Pillo under the giver’s neck can maximize their comfort while also reducing the distance the receiver has to move to touch their testicles and their lover’s tongue, Berkheimer says. Plus, the giver can don nipple clamps, wear a panty vibrator, or pop in a butt plug to enjoy hands-free stimulation while their mouth gets to work.
For mutual stimulation, the 96, which is a 69 sex position variation that puts the testicle-owner on top, is an excellent option. The downside is that continuously lifting and lowering your scrotum from a plank position is very physically demanding. However, positioning chairs like this Multiposition Sex Position Enhancer Chair can take on some of the prerequisite strength.
Of course, there are other teabagging positions that aren’t as laborious. Another option is for the giver to lie down with their head by the corner of the mattress with their partner standing over them. This half-standing option puts the receiver fully in charge of depth, speed, and rhythm, says Spann. For extra spice, the receiver can use a wand vibrator to stimulate the giver’s nipples or genitals, he adds.
6. Start slower than slow.
When stimulating your partner’s scrotum with your mouth, you want your moves to be as slow and methodical as they need to be to win a game of chess—at least, to start. After all, “movements that are too quick or cause fast pulling of the testicles will likely be painful,” says Berkheimer, and that pain can cause the testicles to retract into the receiver’s body on survival instinct.
“To guarantee pleasure over pain, it’s best to start slow and light,” Berkheimer says. So rather than immediately sucking each (or both) nuts like a Warheads candy, lick them like a lollipop. If your partner communicates that they are ready for something a little more intense, level up the sensation by simply placing their testicles inside your mouth. Allow them to adjust to the warmth before applying any suction.
As you’re stimulating your partner’s scrotum, keep in mind that every ball is different, says Richmond. “For some people with testicles, one is more sensitive than the other,” she says, so their stimulation needs will vary.
7. Add in other types of stimulation.
Sure, the scrotum is the lead singer during teabagging—but that doesn’t mean there can’t be backup dancers. In fact, Berkheimer recommends giving the surrounding erogenous zones some time in the spotlight, too.
“Engaging in teabagging while simultaneously stroking your partner’s penis with your hands increases the surface area of pleasure,” she says. “The combination of sensations often leads to a more intense climax.”. Oh, and penile play isn’t relegated to just the giver’s hands. “The giver can also stimulate their partner’s penis with a stroker,” says Spann, such as Fun Factory Manta or Arcwave Voy. The person with the penis can also stroke themselves or wear a vibrating cock ring like the Lelo Tor 3 or We-Vibe Pivot, which will send feel-good vibrations up and down their shaft, he adds.
Oh, and for those who enjoy prostate play, adding in anal stimulation through anal fingering or a prostate massager can also make teabagging feel extra enjoyable.
8. Do some post-game analysis.
Soccer and football aren’t the only ball sports where post-game analysis can come in (ahem) handy. Concluding your teabagging trial run with an open dialogue about what went well and felt good (and maybe what didn’t, if anything) is a great way to close out the sexperience in a connective way, says Spann.
Of course, it is A-OK if either you or your partner don’t wind up enjoying teabagging. As pleasurable as teabagging can be for some, there is no such thing as a universally pleasurable sex act. Just be sure to acknowledge any parts you did enjoy before naming dislikes, as trying something new in bed can be vulnerable, and leading with negativity might keep your partner from feeling comfortable experimenting in the future.
Meet the Experts: Joy Berkheimer, PhD, LMFT, is an expert at the sexual wellness award platform SXWA. Rufus Spann, PhD, is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and founder of Libido Health. Holly Richmond, PhD, is a somatic psychotherapist and AASECT-certified sex therapist, and associate director at Modern Sex Therapy Institutes.
Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a sex and wellness journalist who writes at the intersection of queerness, sexual health, and pleasure. In addition to Women’s Health, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Men’s Health, Greatist, and more! In her free time, Gabrielle can be found coaching CrossFit, reviewing pleasure products, hiking with her border collie, or recording episodes of the podcast she co-hosts called
