Today, Netflix dropped the reunion for its seventh season of Love Is Blind. Amid all the drama about relationships, cast member Hannah Jiles debuted a weight-loss transformation. Ahead of the reunion, Hannah, 27, broke down her health journey, the online blowback she’s received, and how she’s feeling now.
I think about my body image every single day—every waking second. It started when I was young. In middle school, I went through a little fat stage—I was eating Debbie cakes—and I would get made fun of at school. I was going to sleepovers where we were getting the computer and seeing skinny girls on Tumblr. From an early age, it was instilled in me that you have to be small to be pretty.
My weight has been a struggle my whole life. I went to college and gained some weight there. I was very insecure and hated myself. When Covid came, I gained even more weight than I ever had in my life. I was 220 and 5’9”—that was my heaviest. I decided that I needed to do something if I wanted to lose weight, because I was feeling unhealthy.
I started eating less and working out more.
I’m not a big working-out person. I just try to move. I started running. I’ll go to Pilates maybe once a week, once every two weeks. I really do believe a lot of it is what you need. Simple things—just getting up and moving—really makes a difference for me.
I switched my diet. I always did crash diets growing up, but I just tried to eat until I was full. I don’t do a strict diet: During the day, I make sure I have proteins and greens. If I want dessert, I’ll have dessert. I just portion it. I love soda. Now, I only drink it every two days—or sometimes once every day—but I drink a lot more water now. That’s really helped me feel better.
I actually tried Ozempic in late spring of this year for two weeks. I was like, ‘Okay, everyone does this. Lemme see if it’s going to work for me.’ Two weeks was all I could do. Unfortunately for me, I just got way too nauseous, way too sick. I was like, ‘I’d rather be the same way than do this.’ It made me sick as a dog.
I lost 40 pounds before we filmed. After the show, I lost another 30 pounds. Now, I’m thinner than I was in high school. I feel my best right now, but who knows what will happen in the future? It ebbs and flows. It’s always something I have to really work on.
I didn’t know that I was going to talk about my weight on TV.
When you’re going in the experiment, you’re being prompted to ask deep things—like, what’s your biggest fear? What’s your biggest insecurity? I’m thinking, ‘What is my biggest insecurity?’ It’s my weight. In my mind, I was like, ‘What better way to be vulnerable with someone than sharing your biggest insecurity?’ This is something that’s inherently part of me, so I wanted to share my struggle.
When the reveal happened, I was definitely worried. That’s why I put so much emphasis on a big man, because I thought it wouldn’t make me feel as insecure about myself. Even if I look my best, I was still conscious of what someone’s going to think—that they’re going to think I’m fat. Nick is just a charmer, so you don’t know if he’s saying all the right things. And because I am insecure in myself, so even if he does believe it, I might not.
It’s kind of scary to see my comments section, honestly. Everyone saw me in the show—I’m only 30 pounds lighter now, it’s not that big of a difference—but to them, it’s like, ‘Oh my God.’ At first, it was all, ‘Big back. She’s so fat.’ Then they saw that I lost weight, and then it was like, ‘Her personality’s ugly’ and a spam of a thousand ‘Ozempic’ comments.
The one that hurt me the most said, ‘Oh, she looks like that because she has filters on social media. Let’s see what she looks like at the reunion.’ So I was like, ‘Oh my God, I have to be perfect.’ Which is ridiculous, but that’s just how I felt. There’s a point where you make fun of anything you can. I’ve seen it all at this point.
I’m in a way better mental space than I was when I was filming the show.
The show brought out the worst in me. There are qualities that I was having that were not qualities that I’m proud of. I don’t take back how I felt in the moment, and I don’t think being a rude bitch is who I am at my core. I can be sometimes, but I think there’s a lot more to me. I’m very, very, very hard on myself. I’m so hard on myself that I projected that onto other people.
Watching it back, I just realized I don’t need to be that way. I’ve found peace with myself, a little bit. It doesn’t mean I’m a hundred percent, but I think I’ve learned a lot about who I am. You see how insecure and uncomfortable it is for me to talk about it. Weight is something that makes me feel so bad about myself. Of course I still struggle with it, but I’m a lot more confident in my own skin now.
In the beauty standards of society, you’re deemed worse if you’re larger. I just feel like you should just talk about it. Screw them. Who cares about what anyone says? You really realize that when you see how people treat you differently—especially when you’ve been heavier and skinnier. As long as you’re happy with yourself, that’s really all that matters.
I’m really proud that I got here. If I don’t stay here, it’s okay, but I’m happy where I’m at.
