You know the phrase “Save a horse, ride a cowboy”? It’s more than just a catchy song lyric—believe it or not, it’s solid sex advice. Why? Well, the cowgirl position is a classic in the bedroom for a (rodeo) barrel of reasons.
First of all, the cowgirl position gives people with vulvas a better chance of orgasming than some other sex positions, since it’s easy to stimulate the clitoris during it. Arousing this area during sex is pretty important considering “96 percent of women need clitoral stimulation—either alone or coupled with penetration—to orgasm,” says Laurie Mintz, PhD, a therapist, author of Becoming Cliterate, speaker, LELO sexpert, and tenured professor at the University of Florida.
Consider it a built-in benefit: The cowgirl position naturally “provides the ability to grind the clitoris against the pubic bone for stimulation during the natural motions of sex,” adds Jill McDevitt, PhD, resident sexologist at CalExotics and author of Sex Positions for Every Body. Of course, the receiver/rider can also easily stimulate their clit with their hands or a vibrator. (Yeehaw!)
Meet the Experts: Laurie Mintz, PhD, is a therapist, author of Becoming Cliterate, speaker, LELO sexpert, and tenured professor at the University of Florida. Jill McDevitt, PhD, is a resident sexologist at CalExotics and author of Sex Positions for Every Body.
Plus, for the person on top, this position “allows for depth [and] control of penetration,” Mintz says. “Some people with vaginas like it deeper, some like it shallow, and there’s also many ways to mix it up.” And because the rider also has more control of the speed and angle of their body, they can cater the cowgirl position to their own sweet spot.
So, are you ready to get in the saddle and take the reins? Ahead, sex experts explain everything to know about the cowgirl position, including tips for and variations on the move.
What is the cowgirl sex position?
In cowgirl, the penetrating partner lies on their back while the receiving partner straddles them. True to its name, the position looks a bit like riding a horse, McDevitt says.
How to: The receiver straddles the giver’s genital area, allowing the penetrating partner’s penis or strap-on to enter them. The receiver can then use their hands to press on the giver’s chest, play with their partner’s hair, or stimulate their clit while grinding and/or bouncing on their thighs. The person on top can also relieve some of their weight from the giver’s pelvis by leaning back and supporting themselves on their thighs. To discover new sensations for both partners, the receiver also can widen their knees or bring them closer to their body.
Benefits: Beyond the physical benefits (e.g. clit stimulation, customizable penetration), cowgirl is also an intimate sex position, with both partners able to make eye contact and connect in a sensual moment. This position is also empowering for the rider because they can be in control.
What is the difference between cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and horizontal cowgirl?
Along with the traditional cowgirl position comes some variations, including reverse cowgirl and horizontal cowgirl. In the OG configuration, the rider faces the penetrating partner as they straddle them, but with reverse cowgirl, the receiver (still on top) turns around, Mintz says. So, the two partners are no longer face-to-face, and instead, the person on the bottom is looking at the rider’s back side.
Horizontal cowgirl, on the other hand, is the same position as traditional cowgirl, except that instead of sitting up, the receiver lays all the way down and is chest-to-chest with the giver.
Tips to Make the Cowgirl Position Better:
Before you lasso your partner, it might be helpful to brush up on a pointer or two—and these ones come straight from the experts. With this position, the smallest adjustments and additions can improve the sensations in a big way.
1. Stimulate the clit.
A quick biological refresher: The clitoris is a vast internal and external organ that is the equivalent of a penis, and, as previously mentioned, 96 percent of those with vulvas require clit stimulation to orgasm, according to Mintz. A receiver can stimulate their clit by 1) grinding it against their partner’s pubic bone 2) using their fingers or 3) using a toy, which brings me to…
2. Use a toy.
Mintz recommends using either a handheld vibrator, which the rider can hold on their clitoris while riding, or couple’s sex toy, like a cock ring, which the giver can wear around their penis or strap-on to provide clit stimulation to the person on top. Trust, it’ll totally *elevate* the cowgirl experience.
3. Adjust your positioning.
“The same position can have different movements that totally change the experience,” McDevitt says. A few adjustments for cowgirl: The receiver can squat with their feet flat on the bed or floor (instead of their knees) for deeper penetration.
Or, if the penetration is too much, the receiver can put pillows under their knees to lift themselves up. Another way to achieve shorter strokes and more clitoral stimulation is for the receiver to kneel and grind their hips against their partner’s pubic bone. Play with these modifications to see which one feels best for you and your partner.
4. Provide support.
If the receiver is feeling tired, they can ask the giver to thrust from below, use their hands for more leverage, or tuck the rider’s legs under theirs for a bit more stability. The person on the bottom can also sit up, giving the clitoris a closer connection with the giver’s pelvis.
5. Grind instead of bouncing.
“In all the cowgirl positions, there’s a potential for the penis to slip out and push against the partner’s pelvis or buttocks, causing a possible penile injury,” Mintz says. To minimize risk, she suggests the rider grinds and rocks their hips, rather than bouncing up and down, because that motion can lead to slippage. She also recommends that the giver hold the receiver’s hips to help guide the penetration.
6. Communicate
Consent is sexy, and so is constant communication about how you’re feeling, what’s working for you, and which adjustments and/or variations you’d like to try. “That is the best safety tip for any sex, and it enhances the pleasure as well,” Mintz says.
Cowgirl variations
1. Reverse Cowgirl
How to: The giver lays down flat on their back and the receiver straddles them while facing away. Both parties can slowly insert the penis or strap-on into the vagina. The giver can also put their knees up so the receiver can hold onto them as they ride.
Benefits: It’s empowering for the rider and allows them to stimulate their clitoris easily. Plus, “novelty enhances arousal,” which is a major benefit for trying any new sex position, Mintz says.
2. Horizontal Cowgirl
How to: The giver lays down flat on their back and the receiver straddles them, facing each other. Both parties can slowly insert the penis or strap-on into the vagina. Once it’s in, the receiver leans forward and lays down into the giver so their chests touch.
Benefits: It’s very intimate as the partners are face-to-face and can easily kiss while having sex.
3. Cowgirl on a Chair
How to: The giver sits on a chair (or the edge of a bed) with their feet on the ground and the receiver sits on their lap, facing them. Both parties can slowly insert the penis or strap-on into the vagina, and the receiver can begin the riding position, either keeping their feet on the ground or on the chair.
Benefits: Both partners can connect intimately while stimulating the clitoris.
4. Reverse Cowgirl on a Chair
How to: The giver sits on a chair with their feet on the ground and the receiver sits on their lap, turned away from them. Both parties can slowly insert the penis or strap-on into the vagina, and the receiver can begin the riding position, either keeping their feet on the ground or on the chair. It might be helpful to do this near a table, so the receiver can hold onto it while they ride.
Benefits: It’s a fun position with which to experiment and can be very empowering for the rider.
Well, there you have it, folks—all the reasons to throw your 10-gallon hat off to the cowgirl position, plus some expert-approved ways to mix it up with different variations. Now, giddy up!
