In a world that’s constantly busy and overflowing with distractions, it can be surprisingly difficult to figure out what truly makes you happy. Often, we pursue things that we think should make us happy—success, money, approval—only to find ourselves feeling empty or unfulfilled. True happiness is deeply personal and can vary greatly from one person to another. The challenge lies in sifting through societal expectations and external pressures to uncover what genuinely sparks joy in your life.
So, how do you figure out what truly makes you happy? Here’s a guide to help you on that journey of discovery.
1. Reflect on Past Moments of Joy
One of the simplest ways to begin understanding what makes you happy is to reflect on times when you felt truly joyful. Think back to the moments in your life when you felt most alive, free, and content. Was it during a quiet walk in nature? Sharing a laugh with a close friend? Working on a creative project? These moments of pure happiness often hold clues about what you value and what brings you fulfillment.
Ask yourself:
- What activities or experiences bring me joy without the need for external validation?
- What did I love doing as a child that I may have lost touch with over time?
Our childhood interests and natural inclinations can provide valuable insight into our true sources of happiness before societal expectations began shaping our choices.
2. Pay Attention to What Energizes You
Happiness is often connected to energy. Certain activities leave us feeling drained, while others give us a sense of vitality and enthusiasm. Start noticing which activities give you a boost of energy and excitement. Do you feel invigorated after spending time with loved ones, pursuing creative hobbies, or helping others? Or maybe it’s after you’ve accomplished something meaningful at work?
Pay attention to the situations that leave you feeling energized versus those that make you feel exhausted or indifferent. These are important indicators of what aligns with your authentic self.
3. Separate External Validation from Internal Fulfillment
Many of us spend a significant portion of our lives chasing external rewards—money, prestige, status, and approval from others. While these things can certainly provide temporary pleasure, they don’t necessarily equate to long-term happiness. True happiness often comes from internal fulfillment, which is more sustainable and deeply rooted.
Ask yourself:
- Am I pursuing this goal because it makes me happy or because I think it will make others happy?
- Do I feel at peace and content, or am I constantly chasing the next achievement to feel worthy?
Learning to recognize the difference between external validation and internal satisfaction is key to discovering true happiness.
4. Experiment with New Experiences
Sometimes, figuring out what makes you happy requires trying new things. If you’re unsure about what brings you joy, step out of your comfort zone and experiment with different activities, hobbies, or experiences. You might discover a hidden passion you never knew existed.
Sign up for that dance class, volunteer at a local shelter, take a solo trip, or explore a new creative pursuit. These new experiences can reveal undiscovered parts of yourself and help clarify what you find meaningful and fulfilling.
5. Listen to Your Inner Voice (Not Society’s Expectations)
Society, family, and friends often have their own ideas about what you “should” want in life. It’s easy to get caught up in chasing those goals, thinking they will bring happiness. But true happiness comes from within, and it requires listening to your own inner voice, not the expectations placed on you by others.
Take time for introspection, meditation, or journaling to connect with your true desires and values. Ask yourself:
- If there were no societal pressures, what would I really want in life?
- What activities or dreams make me feel excited, even if they don’t align with conventional success?
Tuning out the noise of external influences allows you to focus on what resonates with your authentic self.
6. Notice When You Feel Most at Peace
Happiness doesn’t always come with big smiles or bursts of laughter. Sometimes, it’s the quiet moments of peace and contentment that reveal what truly makes us happy. Pay attention to the times when you feel a deep sense of inner calm. These are often the moments when you’re most aligned with your true self.
Do you feel at peace when you’re reading a book, spending time with family, meditating, or simply being in nature? These peaceful moments are indicators of activities that align with your core happiness.
7. Define What Success Means to You
We often equate success with happiness, but it’s crucial to define success on your own terms. What does a successful, fulfilling life look like for you? Is it having a close-knit community? Traveling the world? Building a family or a career you’re passionate about?
Understanding your personal definition of success will help you pursue a life that genuinely makes you happy, rather than one shaped by others’ ideas of achievement.
8. Be Patient and Compassionate with Yourself
Discovering what truly makes you happy is a process, and it’s okay if you don’t have all the answers right away. Be patient with yourself and allow for trial and error. Sometimes, we learn what makes us happy by first learning what doesn’t. And that’s perfectly okay.
It’s also essential to be compassionate with yourself along the way. Your happiness is a priority, and it’s worth the time and effort it takes to uncover what truly brings you joy.
Conclusion: Happiness is a Journey, Not a Destination
Figuring out what makes you happy is an ongoing process that evolves as you grow and change. What brings you joy today may be different from what brought you happiness years ago, and that’s completely normal. The key is to stay connected to yourself, continuously reflecting on your desires, values, and sources of fulfillment.
At the end of the day, true happiness isn’t about chasing after grand achievements or meeting others’ expectations. It’s about finding the things that light you up inside and filling your life with those moments—big or small. Your happiness is unique to you, and by taking the time to discover what truly makes you happy, you can create a life that feels deeply meaningful and joyful.
